International Women’s Day and Fertility Struggles: How to Lift Up Every Woman

Happy International Women’s Day!

Today, many posts celebrate mothers and motherhood. But remember that not every woman is there yet, and some may choose not to become mothers. Motherhood is beautiful but is not the only path to a fulfilling life.

For those struggling with fertility, seeing motherhood intertwined with International Women’s Day may feel unfair. It might make her feel “less than” because she is not a mother—yet, or ever. But she is NOT less than.

Here’s how you can support women facing fertility challenges today:

• Reach out to at least one woman who may be struggling and remind her that she matters. Tell her she is an incredible woman with the heart of a lioness, whether she is holding a child’s hand or not. The courage she has shown in pursuing her dream makes her a hero.

  
  

• Share your story. If you are already a mother, share what helped you through your darkest times with someone still on her path. Your story could be a beacon of hope.

  
  

• Support surrogates and gestational carriers. If you know one, send her a note acknowledging the incredible sacrifice she and her family are making. Offer to help with her kids, bring her dinner, assist with housework, or run an errand.

  
  

• Acknowledge surrogates who didn’t get pregnant. Remind her that she has done everything humanly possible. She may feel profound guilt and a sense of failure—sometimes even more than the intended mother whose embryo transfer was unsuccessful. Let her know you see her and appreciate her efforts.

  
  

• Be mindful of your words. If you see a woman who appears “older” with a young child, do not assume she is a grandmother. Instead, simply say, “What a gorgeous child.”

  
  

• Respect women pursuing a second child through fertility treatments. Don't question her decision if she has shared her journey with you. Listen. Support. Remind her that only she knows what she is capable of, and stand by her.

  
  

• Support postpartum surrogates. Even though she is not caring for a newborn, her body has been through the immense stress of childbirth. Offer help just as you would for any new mother—she, too, needs time to heal.

  
  

• Contribute to organizations that address fertility challenges. Your support, no matter how small, can make a meaningful difference.

  
  

• Challenge your biases. Reflect on how your perceptions of “parenthood” may impact other women.

  
  

• Don’t judge—ask questions and seek to understand.

  
  

• Advocate for policy change. Support expanded workplace benefits and insurance coverage for fertility treatments.

Ask yourself: How can I make my home, workplace, and community more intentionally supportive of moms at all ages and stages of life?

We win when we lift each other up. Let’s stand together and support all women, no matter their fertility journey.