Surrogacy Mythbusters, Part 3: Emotions, Attachment & Real Relationships

Surrogacy is full of heart—there’s no denying that. But the way people assume surrogates and intended parents feel (or don’t feel) about each other and the baby? That’s where a lot of myths creep in.

Today, we’re unpacking three emotional misconceptions that come up all the time.

MYTH 7: “Surrogates get too attached and won’t want to give up the baby.”

It’s a common fear. But in reality, most surrogates don’t experience the type of attachment people expect.

Yes, surrogates bond with the experience, the journey, and often with the intended parents. But they go into it knowing from day one that this baby isn’t theirs. In fact, many say they feel more like a caregiver, a temporary guardian, or even a “babysitter”—nurturing something precious for someone else.

Surrogates don’t feel a sense of loss at the end—they feel pride, joy, and celebration when the baby goes home with their family.

MYTH 8: “Intended parents and surrogates don’t (or shouldn’t) get close.”

Every relationship is different, but many intended parents and surrogates form incredibly strong bonds—sometimes becoming chosen family for life.

They text, share ultrasound photos, cry together, and even attend doctor’s appointments as a team. At SMARTPath, we intentionally match people not just based on logistics, but also values, communication styles, and expectations.

When it clicks, it’s magic.

You’re building something extraordinary together. A little closeness is a beautiful (and natural) part of that.

MYTH 9: “The surrogate is just a vessel.”

Oof. This one hurts, and it’s simply not true.

Surrogates are people. With jobs, families, hearts, and lives. They make a powerful choice to carry a child for someone else, often while balancing work, parenting, and daily life. Their physical and emotional investment is real, and their role deserves respect and recognition—not minimization.

At SMARTPath, we champion the surrogate as a partner in the journey, not a vessel. She’s an important piece of the story.

The Real Story?

Surrogacy is emotional. And that’s not a bad thing.

What is the growing love, trust, vulnerability, and connection between surrogates and intended parents? It’s one of the most beautiful parts of the process.

💛 Coming Next: Part 4: Who Uses Surrogacy & What It Really Takes